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United 93

I was warned that United 93 would be a very depressing movie, but I found it far more complex then that. It had a profound physical effect - symptoms of anxiety: chest tightening, shallow breathing, feeling detached from the room around me. Emotionally, the movie itself was not depressing to me. It was deeply sad as it is when anyone dies senselessly. But so too was it inspiring and in some ways hopeful. That not all of humanity is bleak and selfish and unthinking. We can come together.

It forced a lot of self reflection, thoughts of what I would do in that situation. Both from the stand point of how whatever courage I have would manifest and the feelings going through my mind when death is imminent and wholly unavoidable. Reflection on a life that is bountiful in some ways, completely empty in others? Comforting memories and regrets of things done and not yet done? When I reach for the phone on the back of the seat in front of me, who will I have to call? What would I say and what would they say back to me?


Mar. 24th, 2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
I pretty much know what would go through my head if I knew death was imminent. It's the same thing that goes through my head every time I'm in a plane and we hit some turbulence and I become momentarily convinced that This Might Be It. It's not regret, emptiness, or panic but gratitude, love, and acceptance. Which I guess means if I ever get diagnosed with some terminal illness and it's really true that only the fighters make it through those sorts of things, I'd probably not be long for the world.

/weird overshare

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